I believe that everyone has those moments which are less than hopeful, in which one perhaps wonders why things are the ways that they are. I have never been athletic, and since playing basketball was the way to be involved in elementary school I would sit on the side lines just wishing and hoping that I would be invited to play, although I never was. Later on as I began going through puberty I started to be attacked by the terrible phenomenon of acne, and I also always felt that I was fat and I felt that these were thing that were impossible to change even though I was trying to do so.
I remember one experience sitting under a tree on the side of the road Hating the person that I was. I remember thinking that if God was real and really loved me, he would not make such a flawed and worthless individual. Again I sadly believe that my experiences are not that unique. I have come to find that most of us struggle to be who we would truly want to be, but one of the teachings that have become more and more important to me began to be a view that God did not see me in the way that I saw myself or even the ways that others saw me. I began to believe that perhaps none of the perceived flaws that I saw in my self had anything to do with the way God saw me.
Sister Okazaki once taught this point when she said that “[Christ] loves YOU. He loves who you are. He loves you unconditionally. He loves the whole you, all of you, not just the good parts or the disciplined parts or the parts that serve. He loves your history, even if your past has been sorrowful and painful, not just the present of service and the future of righteousness that we all long for. He is with you. He wants you to feel him with you, to trust him enough to acknowledge his presence, not just in your moments of strength or joy or private meditation but also in your hours of pain and moments of selfishness and times of despair and self-loathing. Yield your heart to him. Let him heal you. Let him fill you with joy and consolation.”
-Chieko Okazaki, Being Enough, p. 106